This pregnancy...

OK, so I'm going to be very honest here. I'm not sure if it will actually even get posted or not. This pregnancy has been very different and sometimes difficult. I was sitting here thinking...I have taken no pictures, bought nothing, and hardly planned for this little one. It was so hard after having the miscarriage in November and then unexpectedly conceiving again. Honestly, we just weren't ready....but actually, I'm not sure we ever would have been. Let me explain. Events like finding out your pregnant change your life forever, you immediately begin planning your life around this new little one and what it will be like. When you lose something like that, like we did, it's so hard to put your whole heart out there again. Again, it changes your whole life forever, but in a very different way. You can never imagine unless you've been there. I feel so guilty but I would find myself not wanting to plan ahead or even think of names because I had the fear of "what if ....". So day by day God is teaching me and helping me. I can say that although I was afraid to "love" this little one, I love him dearly. From the very beginning of this pregnancy I have constantly had to draw closer to God and realize that this child is HIS. We tend to think that our children our 'ours', but they're not. God just gives them to us for a little while but they are His. We think we can protect them but He can protect them like no other. We really have control over nothing. So daily I thank God for the blessing of this child, and what a special blessing it is, that He chose to give us.

So on May 28Th we found out we're having another boy. Let me share with you some special things about having another boy. First off, Brodie has said since the beginning that he wanted a little brother. (The day we were finding out the sex I had told Brodie "We're going to find out if you're going to have a little brother or sister" and Brodie said "I'm having a brother Mommy".)

Also, since I haven't posted on this before my due date is October 13Th...2 days after Brodie's birthday. This is another special thing about having another boy. All of Brodie's clothes should be perfect for this 2ND little one. I already start to think of what fun it will be planning birthdays together. You always hear that everyone wants you to have a boy and a girl...but there's something special about 2 brothers or 2 sisters. :). I think they share a bond that is different. Of course all we know right now is boys, but I can't imagine it any other way. Brodie brings so much joy to our lives that we are thrilled to have another boy :). Also, I'm so blessed to be married to an incredibly awesome godly man that I think it's awesome that God has given us the privilege to raise warriors for HIM. I can think of no one better than their Daddy as a better example or father to raise them to be warriors for Christ.

What a blessing it is to feel this very active little man inside of me moving around so often. Our doctors visit yesterday was good; it's always precious to hear the healthy heartbeat again. Also, at our last ultrasound he was breach. Yes, there's still plenty of time and room for him to turn and we've been told they usually do so several times, and that there are ways to turn them if they don't on their own, but please pray that he doesn't stay in that position.

Thanks for reading as I've shared my heart. This was the first post on this pregnancy and we are 24 weeks along. I hope to now be more frequent on my updates to follow this pregnancy.